Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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