David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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