May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Im part way to drunk.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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