there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
