Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
