you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize