My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
