She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
