I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
