I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
