just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
