if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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