guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
