you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
