im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
