You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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