she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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