omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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