it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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