Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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