remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
