a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
