Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize