I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
