finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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