people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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