we have officially lost it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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