So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
