Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
