so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
