just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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