Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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