season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
