I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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