I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You took a bar mat shot.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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