Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
