Someone shit on the floor
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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