And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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