i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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