He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
