I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
