Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
