Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
id be glad to
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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