Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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