it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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