I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize