i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
