put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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