so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
