I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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