i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
