just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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