My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Shame is for Republicans.
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