He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
