You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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